Twelve years ago, when I was basically “broke” in many ways, I found The Secret book, and I also bought The Secret DVD. Within months, “miracles” began happening in my life. I attracted great things that I had asked for, and I also attracted bad things that I did not want in my life.

During this past Chinese New Year, which coincided with the return to normalcy after three years of the COVID-19 pandemic, my flatmate and I cleaned our apartment from top to bottom, as is the custom. I came across my original copy of The Secret and was going to throw it away. But when I read all of the things I had written in the back of the book, I decided to keep it because 100% of what I had asked for had manifested in my life. I had other “spiritual” books that I did throw away because there was nothing of real value in them. Instead, they merely had loads of platitudes and quotes from old ‘Star Trek’ and ‘Sex and the City’ episodes. They had not helped me, and they just cluttered my mind.

The many traumas from the pandemic had killed my dreams, ruined my body, damaged my peace of mind, and made me severely depressed. I made many attempts to continue my work on my “big dreams,” but it no longer felt authentic or heartfelt. “Fake it til you make it” was not a solution for me.
Recently, the Universe brought me a new laptop computer and an iPhone, and they were totally free. I did not even ask for them, even though my old laptop no longer worked and my old mobile phone barely worked.

I had asked the Universe to either kill me or heal me because I had lost hope, and I had lost the desire to continue living in this physical body. Last night, as I was waiting for dinner to be prepared, a strong force came over me. I asked, “What do you want from me?” No answer. But the force continued working inside my body. It was not painful, just a very odd and strong force. Then, we all enjoyed my flatmate’s birthday dinner, and I had no pain at all during that period of time. After dinner, I cleaned up the mess and put everything away. My back was extremely tired so I lay down on the sofa to rest, and the strange force came over me again. I do not drink alcohol, I do not smoke, but I do sometimes take mild sleep meds to help me fall asleep. My mind and body are still healing from the recent trauma, and sleep has not been coming easily to me.

As the strange force continued to work on my body, I decided just to ride it out and see how long it would take to finish. At 11:00 pm, I finally became tired, actually exhausted, and decided to go to sleep. I managed to sleep through the entire night without waking up, something I had not been able to do for about a year.

I am not sure what is going on with my body, but I do know that the pain is easing up, and natural sleep is returning to me. I am hesitant to focus on my “big dreams,” my “big desires” because doing that still feels premature. I often think that if my dreams and desires were coming, I’d already have experienced physical manifestations of them. Some people tell me to “trust the process,” and sometimes, I’ll admit, it’s very frightening to think about my future.

I’ve left out many events and details here because my entire story could easily become a very large book, and I have no interest in writing books. My big dream is very big, very ambitious. I’ve been designing and developing operational details for more than 12 years. Patience isn’t one of my strengths.

I am counting on and trusting the Universe to bring all of my dreams, desires, and plans to fruition in my lifetime because they will benefit thousands of people. For now, that’s all I have to share. I may have breakthroughs and exciting physical manifestations to share in the near future. I am finally feeling hopeful again.